Pastor Andy · 02 August 2026
Sermon — Week 3 of the Forgiveness Series: "What Happens When You Don't Forgive?"
Drawing from Matthew 6:9-15 (The Lord's Prayer), Matthew 18:34-35, Ephesians 4:29-32, 1 Corinthians 2:9, Hebrews 9, Hebrews 1, and John 6:53-58, the key themes were:
The story of the young man on the ship — Dr. Bruce Wilkinson told of a young man in his late teens or early twenties who had dropped out of three universities. He was brilliant but couldn't finish anything. He had been banned from going home and could only speak to his mother by phone. His father had nothing to do with him. When confronted, Dr. Wilkinson told him: "Your problem is not your intellect — your wiring is mixed up. Your heart is not right toward your father." The young man was challenged to ask forgiveness and give forgiveness to his father. He initially refused to humble himself, but after the gospel was explained, he accepted Jesus as Saviour. He then phoned his father — and began speaking to him like a son to a father. The moment he received release from his resistance toward his father, something broke open in his life.
Unforgiveness blocks God's forgiveness — from Matthew 6:12-15: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors... For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." This is embedded in the Lord's Prayer itself. God only forgives our sins to the same degree that we forgive others. This is not a feeling — it is a commandment.
Unforgiveness opens the door to the torturer — from Matthew 18:34-35: "And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you from his heart does not forgive his brother his trespasses." The pastor explained that unforgiveness is the legal ground for the torturer — the enemy — to enter every area of life: physical, spiritual, mental, financial, and emotional.
Forgiveness is not forgetting — but it must be real — the pastor challenged the congregation honestly: we say we forgive but we don't forget. And because we don't forget, the enemy comes back on the repetition of the event. True forgiveness means you no longer use the memory as a weapon. The pastor noted: after 46 years of marriage, his wife still remembered the time he slammed her finger in the door. The congregation laughed — but the point was serious.
The spiral of unforgiveness — the pastor walked through the progressive stages of what happens when we refuse to forgive, from Dr. Wilkinson's material:
Resentment — nursing negative feelings about someone's hurtful attitude or actions, choosing not to forgive, or choosing to simply forget and move on — until the infected wound bursts open years later with devastating effect.
Anger — unforgiveness turns into intense anger. You lose your temper not just toward the offender but toward others who remind you of them. You must control your anger when near them — hiding it just below the surface.
Bitterness — sharp, cynical, hard, unfeeling. You close your heart completely to others. You become easily irritated and frustrated and lose your inner peace. You begin building walls around your heart.
Slander — communicating in ways that damage someone's reputation, spreading rumours, critiquing them to others, attributing wrong motives to them because you no longer trust them.
Grudge — developing a deep, critical attitude, repeatedly chewing over past offences, building an entire case of reasons why this person cannot be trusted. You can no longer see anything good in them.
Hatred — intense, passionate aversion toward the person. Actively avoiding contact with them. The very thought of them upsets you. They have become your enemy. You hate them. The pastor asked: "Can these symptoms be found in the house of God?" — and answered quietly: yes.
Revenge — the desire to cause harm, shame, or punishment to the offender. Wishing them dead. Actively trying to hurt them or hold them back.
The blood of Jesus is the answer — from Hebrews 9, the pastor explained that just as the high priest once entered the Holy of Holies with the blood of animals to plead for the people's sins, so now in the New Testament we freely enter the Most Holy Place through the blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus is not merely symbolic — it is active. When you write down what binds you and place it in the blood of Jesus, it is dissolved — like paper in water. What cannot be fixed by prayer, fasting, good works, or medicine alone is healed through the active application of the blood of Jesus in faith.
Forgiveness is a process, not an instant event — the pastor was honest: forgiveness is not instant like coffee. There is no instant solution in God. You must work out your salvation with trembling (Philippians 2:12). When the memory returns tomorrow — and it will for months — you say: "Get behind me, Satan, in the name of Jesus. This thing is forgiven." You must keep applying the blood. Keep declaring it. The victory comes through persistence in the Word and in faith.
Forgive to be set free — the pastor shared personally: he wrote a letter forgiving someone, and no one ever wrote back. But the decision he made — "I grant you acquittal" — released something in his own spirit. The very next Sunday in church, he experienced a new dimension of tongues and a fresh touch of God. He declared: "I know it's nice to hold someone in the prison and say 'I've got you.' But while you're holding them — you're going nowhere."
God is the knower of hearts — the pastor closed with a sobering declaration: "God says: I know what you know. I know what you think. I know what you say. I know what you wish. But I know what is in your heart." And from 1 Corinthians 2:9: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man the things which God has
prepared for those who love Him." — what God has prepared for you, businessperson, child of God, things you haven't even thought of yet — but unforgiveness is the blockage that prevents those things from coming.